Theresa May cries and must wonder why she can’t be as popular with Brits as Bashar al-Assad is with Syrians.
I got the remedy for you Ms. May. Now strap yourself in and listen to this.
Now all of this must be kept secret and must appear to have been organized by others. Ask the regimes of France, Saudi Arabia and the US to organize it all for you.
Organize some tiny protests against you and have the international media whip them up as a peoples uprising for freedom.
Organize some huge, huge rallies in support of you and have the international media……well, ignore them basically.
Organize for guns and explosive devices to be shipped in via Qatar and Saudi Arabia. Hide the origin by routing them through some dodgy arms dealers in Bulgaria, Ukraine or Romania.
Store these arms in large quantities in St. Paul’s Cathedral ready for activation on the streets of London.
Swamp the tiny protests with armed jihadists who will kill police and security services in large numbers.
From there activate the insurgency using terrorist proxies in other parts of the UK. In years to come you will have a mighty battle to liberate Manchester. The terrorists and the international media however will come up with things like #SaveManchester and #ManchesterIsBurning.
Have your allies in NATO form a UK version of the White Helmets. Ask them to train them in Turkey, nice and snug next to the terrorists infesting the area.
Ship the White Helmets across to the UK and recruit some Wall Street PR firms to lionize them as brave first responders to your barbaric barrel bombing and deliberate targeting of civilians.
Make sure there is endless evidence available to show the UK White Helmets being affiliated with terrorists by running around with guns, going to executions, waving terrorists flags aground, calling your soldiers traitors etc. etc.
Make sure the terrorists are reinvented as moderate rebels fighting for the freedom of Brits against your tyranny. Have your allies arm, train and finance these so called moderates. Make sure there is a constant flow of terrorists into the UK. The Channel Tunnel sounds perfect for the job.
Have your allies demand regime change and that you have no part in the future of the UK. Organize for the ambassadors of world leading powers to perform histrionics at the UN, decrying your barbarity, the suffering of children at your hands and that the international community must act urgently. Nikki Haley will be perfect at making shrill, but false accusations against you.
Make sure the terrorists feel no restraint in their barbaric acts. Mass ethnic cleansing, executions of minority groups such as Sikhs or Muslims, public beheadings, throwing gays off the top of buildings, cutting out the hearts of British soldiers.
Don’t worry, Ms. May , all of this will be obfuscated by the international media. Your ousting at any cost and the overall moderate nature of the terrorists will remain their focus no matter how overwhelming the evidence to the contrary.
Lend even more credibility and legitimacy to calls for your removal by recruiting the NGO industrial complex to demonize you. Amnesty and Human Rights Watch have the requisite public profile, reputation and ties to the intelligence community to do this.
Have the aforementioned accuse you, Ms. May , of every act of evil ever performed on the planet.
Ask them to write reports on your barrel bombing, your deliberate killing of civilians, and your deliberate bombing of schools, hospitals, houses and vital infrastructure. Have them accuse you of killing the heroic first responders from the White Helmets and make sure that includes bombing their offices and depots.
Don’t forget — Ms. May — to ask them to come up with a decidedly shaky and evidence free report on you opening a prison where you torture prisoners then cruelly hang them up after sham 2 minute trials. Anonymous sources are the flavour of the day, so make sure you use 50…no make that 100 as “evidence” of these atrocities. Remember the solid principle that an anonymous source can’t be proved but it can’t be disproved, either. It all reinforces the narrative of you as the modern day Hitler so it will work a treat.
I almost forget. The crème de la crème, the cherry on top: Chemical weapons.
Now we get real nasty. Recruit the Turks, Saudis and Americans to supply the terrorists with chemical weapons and train them in their use.
Make sure the terrorists use the chemical weapons with reckless abandon. Don’t worry, you as a government which has all those chemicals in abundance will be found guilty by trial by media. The international media are well versed in taking snap, ill informed, propagandistic statements of western leaders and turning them into fact. Therefore any chemical weapons attack carried out by the terrorists will result in you being charged, tried and found guilty in trial by media within days.
Subsequent digging up of the facts by alternative and independent journalists and scientific inquiry and analysis which disproves your guilt will be largely ignored and will not change fictionalized history. Should the journalists and activists create too many waves and raise public consciousness we shall launch smear campaigns to discredit them. You know, call them fake news, conspiracy theorists, get the tech giants to censor them and demonetize them. If they threaten the control of information too much we will start to close them down by pretending they threaten national security and embolden terrorists.
Even monsters have their friends, and sure enough we will easily find some for you. Russia and Iran will be horrified by the spread of terrorism in your country. They will hold grave fears it will spread across Europe, into Russia and back into the Middle East. In other words it will be a huge existential threat across Eurasia. They will also be horrified by the flouting of international law by the US and its allies, the downright lying of the western media and the acts of sheer terrorism by terrorists who have been labelled as moderate freedom fighters.
Russia and Iran will join you in your heroic fight on the front lines in fighting internationally sponsored terrorism. Russia is blamed for literally everything and Iran is claimed to be the biggest supporter of terrorism, a laughable proposition. They will be vilified as rogue states and the three of you will be labeled as an axis of evil. It will be the terrible trio against the so called “international community.”
All the ingredients are there. Now, hold an election and get 88% of the vote like Bashar al-Assad did in 2014.
Sadly, events can’t be replicated exactly elsewhere. Will you really get 88% support Ms. May? Perhaps not, as you are deeply unpopular with the electorate, evidenced by the breaking news of what appears to be a hung parliament in the UK.
However, should you choose to fight on the side against international terrorism, rather than actively supporting it, you will go a long way to winning the battle for the hearts and minds of your people.